So today I posted on my regular blog about how I’m feeling really down and depressed.  I don’t know what my problem is, but I just feel so stinkin’ sad.  Anyways- I don’t usually post stuff like that- gotta keep it upbeat and happy.  Hide those real feelings so no one knows that I’m really hurting.

I got several nice comments, mostly from other moms who understand what I’m going through.  Then I got an email from MIL telling me how lucky I am and that I should just get over it.

Excuse me?

I was pretty mad when I read it.  I thought- here I am putting my feelings out there (which is really hard for me to do) and you tell me to get over it.  If it was that simple don’t you think I would already be over it?  Fortunately I let myself cool down before I wrote back to her.  I thought about it- and I think email makes it hard to determine someones tone.  I think she was just (in her way) reaching out and pointing out how much I have and that I should be thankful.  I wrote her back a nice email explaining that I know I should be happy- I am very blessed and very fortunate.  But I just feel so sad all of the time.  She wrote back to let me know she is there if I need someone to talk to.

I’m so glad I waited before writing back!

Every year I say that I am going to start my Christmas shopping earlier so that I can avoid the crowds during the end of November and through out the month of December.  The year I was pregnant for Peanut I actually did that- I had almost all of my shopping done during the summer.  I ended up going shopping again during November and December anyways, so I think I actually just ended up spending more money.

Anyways, this year I have a few Christmas presents bought and ready to be given as gifts.  But, I do not have as much done as I wish I did.  It’s hard shopping with a 2 year old, so I am probably going to be doing a lot of my shopping online this year.

I was checking out a Christmas Gift Shop that has the 2008 best Christmas gifts for family.  One person I was looking for specifically was my MIL.  We are not all that close and I feel like I don’t know her very well.  But, I did see some items at this shop I think she might like. I think she would like the Thomas Kinkade Faith’s Inspiration Italian Charm Bracelet.  It’s just beautiful and it looks like something I could see her wearing. 

There are a lot of great gift ideas at the Christmas Gift Shop, so stop by and check out their site to look for some ideas for your loved ones.

We celebrated Peanut’s birthday a while ago.  We traveled out of town to where our families live to make it easier.  Although we have to drive three hours with a toddler I know it is easier than asking people to come here to celebrate her birthday.  Although if we had it here, I know the only ones who would come would be my parents and probably my great aunt.  No one from George’s side of the family would come.

So I sent out invitations to the family with an RSVP date on it.  Not a really big deal because we were just having it at a nearby park.  But still we needed to know how much food to bring and how big of a cake to order, how many plates, cups, etc. to buy.  So, the day before the RSVP date no one from George’s family had responded.  So he called his mom and she got answers for us.  Most of his brothers were planning to come, I’m not sure when they were going to tell us.

Anyways, my MIL said she wasn’t sure if she would come (which is no surprise) because she didn’t know how she would feel.  I thought the way it usually worked was you said yes and then if you happened to be sick on the day of the party you would call and say, “I’m sick, I can’t come.”  You don’t say several days in advance that you might not feel good so you’re not sure.  So, I knew then she wasn’t coming.  It really annoys me that Peanut’s own grandmother can not take a hour or so to come to her own granddaughters birthday party, taking place 5 minutes from her home.  Especially when we were traveling from out of town so they could all come.

The party was wonderful anyways.  Most of George’s family did come and my FIL came.  No MIL though.  I guess that’s just how she is and it’s hard for me to accept it.

So we were out of town to visit our families.  Both sets of grandparents live in the same town.  We always stay with my parents when we visit.  They have more room for us and it’s just my parents living there.  My in-laws have several grown children who live with them and not as much room, so it doesn’t make sense to stay there.

So, while we were in town we made arrangements to visit my in-laws so that they could see Peanut for a while.  They agreed, as usual.  Then the night before our planned visit my MIL sent me an email saying that we couldn’t come over because they were going to be busy.  They had to go car shopping.  Really?  A last minute car shopping trip?  Not to mention the cold and rainy weather.

I just don’t get it.  The in-laws don’t seem to want to be a big part of Peanut’s life and it confuses me.  She is the sweetest little girl and I can’t understand why they don’t want to see her.

So, George talked to MIL about it.  Because something like this happens almost every time we plan to go over there.  Apparently we don’t act up to her standards when we visit.  George doesn’t talk enough.  I sit on the couch and I don’t talk enough either.  Hmmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with the way my MIL and FIL always have the TV on and that it is always the center of attention.  My MIL does usually play with Peanut and pays attention to her.  But, I guess I feel like if everyone is watching TV- am I supposed to sit there quietly and watch so I don’t interrupt?  Or am I supposed to make small talk?

Apparently I’m doing the wrong thing.  Although the excuse is usually different each time, so I’m pretty sure this is just another excuse.