Since George left his job earlier this year he has made a lot less money.  He works very hard on trying to get his business going.  But of course it is a slow process and takes time to build up clients.  And now with the crazy financial situation our country is in, many people are not spending extra money on the type of work that George does.

Anyways- the judge basically made his decision based on what he thinks George could be making.  Not on what he is actually making.  So taking into account that George made probably 3 times as much money last year as he will this year, he made his decision based on that.  He still didn’t award the full 17% but he awarded more than we can afford to pay.  I’m not sure where George is supposed to come up with the money.

So I hope this makes Crazy happy.  We were already struggling to pay all of our bills and now we have to add another bill on top of all of that.

On the other hand George likes to take his sweet time and then complains when I try to “rush” him out the door.  We fight every single time.  Then we get to wherever we are going and we have to hurry up because we either need to get home for lunch and nap or dinner.  And then George gets mad at me for rushing him.  And then we fight every single time.

He complains that I am thinking only of myself when I rush him around.  In reality I am thinking only of Peanut and trying to make sure that we stay on her schedule so that she doesn’t get too hungry or tired.  For some reason this does not make sense to George.

We are at each other constantly.  I feel like George thinks I do everything wrong.  There is nothing I can do that would make him happy.  No matter what I have done there is something wrong with it.  And if something happens to go wrong- it is somehow my fault.  Nothing is ever his fault.  And when I try to talk- I am constantly interrupted.

I am told pretty much daily how bad I am at all sorts of things.  The last time George said something nice to me or told me something he appreciated me doing?  I have no idea.

A few nights ago I wasn’t feeling well.  I was working on my computer when all of a sudden I was extremely dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up.  So I turned everything off and told George I was sick and going to bed.  A few minutes later he came into bed and asked what was wrong.  So I told him the room was spinning and I felt terrible and couldn’t move.  He started to rub my back and actually rubbed my back for about a half an hour.  That last time that happened was… I have no idea.  So I thought he was being really nice since I didn’t feel good.  It turns out he had something else in mind.  I reminded him that I couldn’t move because I was so dizzy.  Apparently when I did that I was blowing him off.  So, now a few days later he is still mad at me over this.

Ridiculous.  And now I’m mad that he didn’t care how sick I was feeling.

Fortunately the state we live in will provide health insurance for all children, regardless of income.  If you only make a little bit of money it can range from being free to paying the full premium if you have a higher income.  And the full premium is still affordable.  So we are very thankful for that- Peanut is covered.

The problem for George and I is that we make too much money to qualify for any of the state health plans for ourselves.  And we don’t make enough money to be able to afford to pay a full premium for ourselves because it is very expensive.

I have looked into several different insurance companies, but haven’t found any well priced.  I am going to look into it though as it would save me a lot of worrying if I knew that George and I would be protected if one of gets sick.

Anyhoo, I asked George when he wanted to go.  It was around 11am when I asked him and none of us were dressed yet.  So he said, “We can go now.”  I explained that by the time we got ready and left it would be getting too close to lunch time and Peanut would get grouchy.  So he was quiet for a few minutes and then said, “How about this.  After Peanut’s nap we’ll go to Linen’s and Things (they are going out of business) then we’ll head to the mall and eat dinner there.  After that we can go to the grocery store.”  I agreed.  And then I spent the rest of the day looking forward to going.  Because my life is clearly filled with excitement.

The trouble started when we couldn’t find Linens and Things.  George thought he knew where it was (we have never been there) and it wasn’t where he thought it was.  I though I knew where it could be- but he wouldn’t check there (even though we were about 1 minute away from the plaza I thought it was in).  Then George got tired of my side seat driving and stopped the car and we switched.  I drove to where I thought it was- and it was there.  We wasted a half hour driving around because George refused to check where I thought it was.  And still- he says it used to be where he thought it was.  Apparently when they decided to go out of business they moved to a new building.  Clearly that makes all sorts of sense.

So then.

After we left Linens and Things (we didn’t buy anything) we headed to the mall.  And we got stuck in rush hour traffic.  Lovely.  The entire time we were stuck George yelled at me about how this was the reason we shouldn’t head out at this time of evening.  And it was my fault.  Because apparently he told me we should never be out in traffic at that time.  He was mad and said we were just going home.  But, we had promised Peanut and ride on the carousel at the mall- and since he didn’t want to make her sad we went to the mall.  From there on out we had a great time.  But, still- I am sick and tired of getting yelled at all of the time about every little thing- whether it is my fault or not, George will turn it into being my fault.

I wouldn’t want to live on the water but I could agree to spend some nights on the boat.  We’d need to look at boat lights of course for our overnight stays.  One from Magnalight would probably be perfect.

And now I’m off to try to figure out how to make some extra money to buy that boat.

George?  He wants to rent the cheapest thing he can find to save money.  But the places he keeps showing me are terrible, dumpy looking houses.  I wouldn’t even want to visit someone in one of those houses.  Or he wants to buy a really cheap house that we can pay cash for.  Something “livable.”  And I am 100% against that.  I don’t want Peanut in a house like that.  I don’t this Miss B will want to come and stay with us or bring friends over if we live in a dumpy disgusting house.

I’m so frustrated!

We left on Friday afternoon.  We ran into terrible weather on the way there.  I had been checking the weather constantly and it was clear.  That’s what happens when you’re near a huge lake though.  Gotta love that lake effect snow.  But we could hardly even see in front of us it was so bad.  We arrived safely though and I called right away to see how Peanut was.

Then we got ready and went out to dinner at a local diner restaurant.  I wanted to go somewhere nice and fancy.  George wanted to save money and go somewhere cheap.  He won.  The food was not great but was okay.  Afterwards we were tired so we just went back to our room to relax with each other.

I called Peanut first thing on Saturday morning because I was awake most of the night worrying about her.  Guess what?  She was totally fine!  Then we had a great breakfast on Saturday morning and looked at the local shops.  It was a small town with some cute little stores.  We also walked out on the frozen lake but it was soooo cold out that we didn’t last very long.  Later on we headed to a nearby city to go shopping at the huge mall.  After a delicious dinner we went back to our hotel and hung out all evening.  George spent quite a bit of time on his computer that evening which really annoyed me.  Other than that, we had a great time.

We headed back on Sunday morning.  We got back right after Peanut went down for her nap.  So we had to wait to see her.  When she got up I was soooo happy to see her.  I missed her so much.  It was really nice to get away with George and to not spend all of my time worrying about Peanut.  George and I were able to relax and spend time together and I think it was really good for us!

For some reason George keeps suggesting all sorts of places except the one I picked.  But the places he is picking don’t have anything to do during the winter- no shopping or anything like that.  I guess it doesn’t really matter.  I just want to go away with him and enjoy some time just for us.  But right now I’m feeling sad and frustrated.