…and I’ll cry if I want to…

So I recently had a birthday.  I’m 31.  And you know what?  It bothered me more to turn 31 than it did to turn 30.  Why?  I have no idea.  Maybe it’s because I want to have another baby and the timing isn’t right for that to happen right now.  I feel like I’m getting older and my clock is starting to tick.  I hate where we live and I want to move back “home” to where my heart is.  I don’t have any friends and I’m just so lonely.  Maybe that’s why I feel so depressed.

I have been feeling so lonely lately.  I have a great husband and a wonderful daughter who are in the house with me all day long.  And yet I feel lonely.  It doesn’t make much sense to me.  But sometimes I feel so lonely that it physically hurts.  I think what I am longing for is a female friend.  I don’t have any friends, not one single friend.  It’s not just that I don’t have a best friend or someone I’m really close to- I really do not have any friends at all.  Last week when I was taking Peanut to get her picture taken I was actually excited that I was going to get to talk to the photographer.  How sad is that.

When I was growing up I remember my mom having a lot of friends.  We spent time with her friends and their kids and it was a lot of fun.  I remember my mom laughing with her friends and having a blast together.  And I would be busy playing with the friends kids having a blast myself.  I want that now.  I want a close friend like the ones I remember my mom having.  I want friends for Peanut.

We have joined some mommy groups and people are nice.  But so far I don’t have anyone I would call a friend.  And I am incredibly lonely.  Sometimes when I am cleaning my house I wonder what the point is.  No one, and I mean no one, ever comes over.  I just feel an empty, achy, lonely feeling.  And it hurts.

You know what really scares me?  George and I do not have any health insurance.  When George left his job back in March to start his own business he left behind our health insurance. 

Fortunately the state we live in will provide health insurance for all children, regardless of income.  If you only make a little bit of money it can range from being free to paying the full premium if you have a higher income.  And the full premium is still affordable.  So we are very thankful for that- Peanut is covered.

The problem for George and I is that we make too much money to qualify for any of the state health plans for ourselves.  And we don’t make enough money to be able to afford to pay a full premium for ourselves because it is very expensive.

I have looked into several different insurance companies, but haven’t found any well priced.  I am going to look into it though as it would save me a lot of worrying if I knew that George and I would be protected if one of gets sick.

I’ve been asked a few times in the past if I know any good web hosting providers. And of course I do have a few that I do recommend, and I do have a few that I recommend not to use. The ones I recommend not to use are because of bad service I had when using them. The biggest reason why I would recommend not using a hosting provider would be customer service, and up-time. If the site is down a lot, and the customer service isn’t there, then the hosting services being offered won’t either.

But with that being said I came up with a couple ideas to help you select your next hosting provider. The first thing you should is pickup the phone and call them, or see if the have a blog they post on regularly. If you do call them have a few general questions ready to ask. You are just basically calling to see if contact can be made without any problems. And another thing to do is check out the site Web Hosting Geeks to view what web hosting have been left by real people. I don’t totally agree with the order of their list, but a lot on the list are good hosting companies.