So things with Miss B gradually got worse.  The year of 2006 was pretty bad.  She did come to see us some, usually with a friend.  Which was okay with me, I just wanted to get to see her.  Most of the time when she had a friend with her she didn’t do a whole lot with us, but just having her here made me happy.  After our daughter Peanut was born, it took Miss B several weeks to be able to make the time to come see her.  She did spend some time with us in the months after Peanut was born.

The year of 2007 was even worse than 2006.  I don’t think we saw her 10 times the entire year.  Then at Christmas time in 2007 I noticed that she had posted on MySpace (the way that her and I communicated) that she was now an Atheist.  So, I told George about it.  We were pretty upset because as Christians, this was a huge deal to us.  Looking back, I know that George should have cooled down before he called her, but he didn’t.  They ended up arguing.  In the end Miss B felt unloved and unaccepted, which is a terrible way for a teenager to feel.  It isn’t at all how we feel about her- we love her and accept her no matter what.  We just don’t agree with the choices she is making.

So, Miss B refused to see us at all.  And since Crazy (Miss B’s mom) lets Miss B make all of her own choices, she didn’t have to see us if she didn’t want to.  It was a quiet and sad Christmas without her.  We didn’t see her again until February when she spent a weekend with us.  Since then she has been to our house only a couple of times.  Maybe 3 or 4 this entire year.  We do drive to see her.  Miss B lives in the same town as our parents live in, so whenever we visit them we try to see Miss B.  She is usually too busy to make time of us though. 

And it makes me sad, the way she is turning out.

Soon after Miss B turned 13 she started to change.  Her attitude became a major problem.  Crazy (her mom) said it was typical teenage behavior.  And while I know that some attitude and some eye rolling is normal for teenagers, Miss B became down right disrespectful.  She started not wanting to spend as much time with us, I think mostly due to the fact that we have rules at our house.  Crazy doesn’t have a whole lot of rules and lets Miss B do pretty much whatever she wants.  At our house there were limits on TV and Internet use, rules about what kind of movies could be watched and rules about being respectful and rules about going to church every Sunday.  So, given the choice- Miss B would rather be at Crazy’s house where she can do whatever she wants.  Of course, this did not all happen over night, it was a gradual change. 

It hasn’t been all that long since I was a teenager, so I remember how important friends are at that age.  So, we told Miss B that she could bring a friend with her whenever she wanted to, so that it would be more fun for her.  We got rid of the limits on TV and Internet- and pretty much let her do those things as much as she wanted.  Although, honestly- rather than telling her she could have X amount of time to watch TV or play on the PlayStation, we just started telling her when she’d been using it enough and encourage her to do something else instead.  We just wanted to be able to spend time with her.  It did help for a little while.  But as time went by, she started making excuses for why she couldn’t come see us.  And since Crazy lets her make all of her own choices, if Miss B doesn’t want to see us, she doesn’t have to.

So, I thought I should do a little background on Miss B.

Miss B is my 16 year old step-daughter.  I met her when she was 4 years old and I fell in love with her from the start.  When I married George a few years later I was so excited to be her step-mom.  Miss B lived with her mom but we lived pretty close by so we saw her quite a bit.  We never missed a sporting event or school performance.  She spent at least every other weekend with us, sometimes more.  She spent school holidays with us and we usually saw her during the week as well.  We always took her on vacation with us.  I have always loved her and treated her like she was my own daughter.  I spoiled Miss B like crazy at Christmas time and her birthday.  When back to school time came I bought her tons of back to school clothes.  I have always loved taking her shopping, to the movies, out to lunch and spending as much time with her as possible.  There were many trips to the nail salon and time spent getting her hair done as well. 

When Miss B was a little older, 11 years old, we had to move to a town a few hours away from her for George’s job.  We still saw her every other weekend and she still spent every school holiday with us as well as several weeks during the summer.  We had a lot of fun times together and a lot of great talks.

But all of that would start to change around the time Miss B turned 13…

So it’s been a while since I posted here.  I guess that should be a good thing since it means I don’t have anything to complain about, right?

Anyways…

In a couple of weeks my cousin is getting married.  We have known about this for a year.  I reminded Miss B about the wedding… I guess I need to do a post about our situation with Miss B.  That will have to wait for another day.  But, I reminded Miss B and I told Crazy (her mother, the one she lives with) about the wedding.  Miss B has been planning to go with us.  Now she isn’t going.  She got a new job and can’t ask for the time off.  She would need to take off a Saturday and Sunday to go because it is out of town.  But, really- I think McDonalds would be able to understand that their new 16 year old employee has been planning to go to a wedding for a year. 

The reason I’m annoyed- I don’t think Miss B ever planned on going.  She said she would, probably just so we would leave her alone about it.  If this was something happening on Crazy’s side of the family then Miss B would go.  But, because it is my family- even though they love her and have always treated her wonderfully- she doesn’t want to go.  And I’m annoyed.